I’ve Changed

I’ve changed,
and the others in my life
are not sure what to make of me.

I used to take on their burdens—
their worries, fears, and doubts,
adding those of my loved ones
to my own burden of pain and fear.
That never lightened their load,
but it weighed me down
so that I was more laden with pain
than they were.

My heavy burdens gave some comfort.
They could see me struggle under the load
and felt better knowing that I suffered, too.
Yet in my heart,
I knew that to burden myself
did not ease their plight.
It only sapped my strength
and drained me of love.

I have now chosen to lighten my load,
to free myself of my own fears
and let the fears and doubts of others
remain theirs.

Some that see the new lightness in my step
and song in my heart
perceive that I have forsaken them—
that I no longer share their pain.
I share their pain,
and I feel their misery,
but I have chosen to live a healed life.

The way to lighten their soul
is not by burdening myself.
It is by freeing my hands and my heart
so I might use my love for them
to help them cast off their burdens, too.

Some will find my song of love disturbing.
It reminds them of the love and joy
that is missing in their lives.
I can only offer to teach them to sing,
to share the joy and love I’ve found in life.
Not all will choose to join the chorus,
yet those that do will find peace and happiness.
I can offer nothing more.

I’ve changed,
and the others in my life
are not sure what to make of me.

I used to need love.
I craved it and clung to it,
as if it might slip through my fingers
if I did not grip it tightly.

Others found this comforting.
As I clung to their love,
they felt needed and important.
How could I leave if I was
as desperate for love as they were?

Yet, I’ve discovered
that holding love so tightly
strangles it.

Love needs to breathe.
Pure love
comes from the choice of the unburdened heart
not from the neediness
of the soul in pain.

I’ve found within my Self
an infinite source of Love.
Even if I am left alone,
I know I can find love within my Self.
I no longer need to seek love from others
to fill a void in my heart.

Now I choose to share my love.
My heart is overfilled,
and within my spirit I know
that the love I give to others
fills my heart with more love to give.

Yet, some sense my lack of need,
the security I’ve found in the arms of God.
If I do not need them
like they desperately need me,
will I now leave?

They do not yet understand
that I have chosen to love them,
and in that choice
I have committed my spirit
to loving them and healing our relationship.
I do this out of love,
not out of obligation.

Some will cry out
that they have lost my love.
Others will respond
with anger and rage
that I have betrayed their love
because I have found love within my Self
and do not need them anymore.

They will someday see
that this new love
is unconditional
and does not rely upon
my insecurities and fears.
It will last forever,
even if someday
we both don’t need each other anymore.

I’ve changed,
and the others in my life
are not sure what to make of me,
and sometimes I don’t either.

I know in my heart
that the change is good.
I’m slowly returning to my core essence—
the Real Me.

The fears and doubts
I now see for what they are—
unnecessary burdens on a heart
that yearns to be free.

Is my change complete?
No.

I am not even aware
of all the fears I carry.
Yet, now when I see these fears,
I am able to cut them loose,
leaving them in the muck by the side of the road
where they belong.

Will others understand me?
Some will, and some won’t.
Yet, I don’t live
for the understanding of others.
I live for my Self
and openly share
the warmth of love in my heart
with all those that choose to rest by its fire.