I Found My Friend

I found my friend,
my lifetime friend,
sitting right under my nose.
She spends each day,
seven days a week,
under my roof.
Yet for years,
I was blind to her spirit.

Now my eyes are open,
and what I see brings me such delight,
I want to spend each of those hours with her,
to somehow make up
for years of blindness.

When I am with my friend,
I feel happy.
When I am with my friend,
I learn about my Self.
I grow stronger and more vital
each hour we are together.

Can anyone blame me
for selfishly wanting
to be with her each day?

It’s not that I don’t find
happiness and joy
when we’re apart.
My life is full of great love
and wonder.
I am grateful to God
for all the gifts
He has brought into my life.

But in my friend I have found
a kindred spirit.
We share many beliefs.
We share many struggles.
And we listen to each other
in a way that heals us both.

After searching thirty years
to find such a friend,
I am deeply ashamed to admit
that I fear losing her,
that somehow I am not worthy,
and even if I give my all,
my all will not be good enough.

This fear is unfair to my friend.
It is unfair to my Self.
And it smacks the face of God
who has told me to have faith,
that our love and friendship
are meant to last lifetimes.

Yet the fears persist,
and they block my heart
from feeling her love
and seeing her smile.

So I reach out in need
to see her in person,
to be in the presence of her love
so powerful and strong
that no fear can block it
from reaching my heart.

The lesson I must learn
is to open my heart
in spite of my fear,
and feel her love and commitment
even when she is not present.

Only then can I be a true friend
with unconditional faith
in the permanence of our love.

Until that time
I pray that she will understand
the frailties of a heart
that has seen so much pain.
I know deep inside
in a space not clouded with fear,
that she will.