• TV Kills
• Study: Ritalin linked to stunted growth
• Pushing Kids Hard in Sports
• The Good Dad
• Parenting Self
• My Dad

TV Kills

From Adam Curry [ http://www.blognewsnetwork.com/members/0000001/2004/04/06.html#a5496 ]:

I remember as a kid the stories that circulated around television usage. Of course the kid next door was doing poorly at school, his brain was rotting away because he watched too much tv! I think I recall another one about it causing cancer, which was probably too big a concept for me in 1970, when I was a wee lad of 6 years.

The stories are back, only this time a bit more plausable: “TV can cause the developing mind to experience unnatural levels of stimulation.”

The BBC health watch has more on the study.

Don’t forget going blind from sitting too close to the TV....  Indeed, any activity we engage in heavily affects the mind. Meditate for 20 minutes twice a day and your mind will be different even a year later, regardless of age. Those who garden and fish will have different neurological tendencies than those who passively watch TV. With TV we are watching events unfold. There is a stimulation that is inherently non-creative. The creation was done for us. We “entrain” with the creativity of others in order to be entertained. This is done in a way that stimulates attention, yet it also gets us used to the idea that dramatic events and “scene changes” will occur regularly. Contrast that with life in general and the classroom in particular. It just isn’t stiumlating in the same way!

An interesting question for me is the issue of retention for things learned on TV. Our kids do a lot of learning through the computer, participating in classes through Stanford’s EPGY and http://www.k12.com. Retention there seems to be strong. However, for “educational” shows on TV, and certainly for retention of what happened in shows and movies, the level of retention is not there. The lack of interactivity and engagement reduces the effectiveness of television as a learning tool. One thing that may help is if we have specific goals around a show or TV seminar. For example, I am taking DVD learning on EFT. There is an open-book test that goes along with it for certification. The combination of TV-based learning with a specific outcome of knowledge does help make it more effective and retained (for me).

Study: Ritalin linked to stunted growth

New research bolsters evidence that stimulants like Ritalin used for attention deficit problems may stunt children’s growth, but it does not address whether the effect is permanent.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/4668038/

It’s a tragedy that so many of our young children are being drugged with powerful stimulants without first trying healthier alternatives. For example, exercise. One 12-year-old client is in “health” right now and gets no exercise during the school day. The sedentary style of virtually all classrooms today is enough to leave any person feeling fidgety. How many parents would find it difficult to sit in a desk all day long, often listening to unenergizing lectures? ADD and ADHD are now being diagnosed for kids that are simply frustrated and angry that they are wasting their lives. Worse, in my opinion, is that schools who keep the kids for most of the day now expect even elementary-age kids to do significant homework, further reducing the time they spend in free, creative expression in playtime.

I know ADD and ADHD are complicated issues. The drugs do help many children to be successful in school. Yet, we ignore both the exercise aspect as well as the need to train each of our nervous systems to focus in a relaxed manner through age-old practices such as meditation, mindfulness, yoga, tai chi, the martial arts, and massage. Instead we work, work, work the cognitive brain. We cram it chock full of facts without providing a balance. No wonder so many kids need Ritalin, a stimulant!, to burn off the excess energy they have so they can sit passively and Be a Good Boy.

Pushing Kids Hard in Sports

With more kids than ever in organized sports, experts in sports medicine and youth athletics say they are increasingly concerned about the pressures put on young children to excel at sports. “Most children would rather play on a losing team than sit on the bench of a winning team,” says youth fitness researcher Avery Faigenbaum, an associate professor of exercise science at the University of Massachusetts in Boston.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/4556235/

Parents do not all have the same perspective when it comes to their kids playing sports. Some see it, even from the age of 5, as an opportunity for their naturally talented youngster to get a college scholarship. Others see it as character building, a way for Little Jimmy to learn to compete and WIN WIN WIN. Some parents yell at the kids, yell at the umpires, and even brawl with other parents. Even the good sports can push their children to become pre-professionals in attitude and approach to the sport.

When we put a lot of our sweat, heart, and soul into ANY activity, when the drive to excel comes from deep within us, it becomes self-sustaining. The energy we GET from the activity fuels us. What this article points out, however, is that EXTERNAL driving force whether from a coach, or parents, or peers can “suck the fun out” of any activity. It’s a bit like reading a book because some teacher assigned it as homework and reading the same book because it was our own choice.

When I was growing up, it was not possible (I was told) for me to play organized sports because I spent every other weekend at my Dad’s house. I do want my children to have the opportunity to do things I did not, such as learn the piano and play sports. What has been interesting to observe, however, is that they--like Avery says above--have had a BLAST even in seasons where they have not won a single game! Indeed one un-feated season we asked the kids whether they would have rather played in this team that didn’t win, where they got to play all the time, or played on the champion team where because of their younger age they would have ridden the bench most of the time. No question in their minds, they would rather play than just “be a winner.”

And no, this is not a character defect. Both kids have gone on to be on other winning teams and losing teams. They PREFER to win, but they would prefer to have fun and play personally well than “just win.”

Another observation is that, given the choice of whether to specialize in one sport in which they excel, or play multiple sports and even new sports in which they have no experience, they have consistently chosen a variety of activities over specialization. I have no doubt that some children are born with a burning desire to master soccer or piano or tennis. I also don’t believe for a minute that most kids are so focused naturally. There is SO much to learn from different coaches and different sports. Basketball’s conditioning is outstanding and supports playing soccer well. Baseball’s eye-hand coordination compliments art and piano.

We’re raising the bar in sports so that only the exceptionally gifted kids will get playing time and an opportunity to experience sports. That may be what produces the most skilled college and professional athletes, where money and entertainment rule. What gets lost in that focus is balance, breadth of experience, and acceptance that “not perfect” is not just okay--it can be a LOT of fun.

The Good Dad

My daughter dropped a stack of dishes today.
I loved her. I forgave her. I held her.
I helped her see it through loving eyes.
I am not the best Dad.
I lay claim to no awards.
I have spanked—when I shouldn’t.
I have yelled—from my own impatience.
I have manipulated—because I want to control.

My life is a picnic, and sometimes
I feel like I’m covered with ants.
That I sat on a bee, and got stung in the butt.
That my apple is rotten.
It’s still a picnic, and around me… laughter.

I don’t know, Lord,
Why you blessed me with them.
I want to give them so much,
But I’m all I have.

At least they know…
I love them.
I will take time for them.
I will do my best to protect them.
I will provide for them.
And if someone needs to sit on a bee,
It might as well be me.

God help me,
If nothing else,
To be a good Dad.

For Jimmy and Rebecca, March 21, 1999

Parenting Self

I have come to understand
that before I can be
a good parent to my son,
I must become a true parent
to my Self.

If I am not honest
with my Self,
how can I expect
honesty from another?

If I am not able
to demonstrate discipline,
how can I demand
discipline from another?

If I hurt my Self
with unkind words
and thoughts of hate and abuse,
how can I heal
or bring love to this world?

So I am first and foremost
a parent to my Self.
I nurture within my heart
seeds of life I want to see
inherited from me.

Kindness.
Self-respect.
Discipline.
Goodness.
Love.

As these seeds grow stronger
within my Self,
they bear fruit I can share
with others.

To be a parent
is to be a gardener
in the land of hearts.

Plant good seeds.
Shine the light of God’s love
on them each moment.
And experience the miracle
of Parenthood.

My Dad

As I sit here
with my son sleeping beside me,
I feel the love
and the fears,
the responsibilities
and the joys,
of being a father.

Before he drifted off to sleep,
my son stroked my morning stubble
with the perfect softness
of his tender hand.
In that moment I remembered
all the times
my own hand
had touched the rough strength
of my Dad’s face.

I can’t say that growing up
I ever understood my Dad.
At times he was perfect,
and I found comfort in his strength,
his joy for life,
and his love.

At times he was terrible,
and I hid from his wrath
and the confusion
his anger brought to my heart.
I didn’t understand
that Dad was just human.

He seemed bigger than life
when I was young.
As I got older,
I saw his imperfections
too clearly....

I lacked the wisdom
to see
that like me
he was struggling, too,
to live this life.

Now at 30
I have been tested by life
and discovered in those tests
what it means to be human.
And with this knowing,
I see my Dad
as the loving spirit
he truly is.

I regret the times
I’ve missed his love
in my own rush to judge.
I realize now
as father to my own son
that I have my faults.

I have Impatience,
Anger,
Fear,
Jealousy,
and more I don’t wish to list.

But I learned from my Dad
that if you can love through the pain
of seeing your son struggle
with his own life
while you struggle with yours,
you will be blessed
with moments of sacred wonder
as when your son strokes your rough face
as he drifts off to dream
of life, and love,
and Dad.